As each day passes and Christmas draws near, I'm finding myself growing increasingly emotional, moody, stressed etc. I am so not ready for Christmas this year, it's going to be so weird because everything is going to be different but most importantly mom won't be there. We won't get to see her get all excited about what was wrapped under the Christmas tree for us. We won't get to hear someone get yelled at by her because they're not waiting their turn to open a present or because she wants to get a picture of them opening it and they're going to fast. We won't get to all get ready together before we head up to Kansas City for Christmas at grandmas. We won't get to share all those family traditions that were randomly started a few years ago.
Instead we get to spend Christmas morning apart. I'll be here, the others there. We probably won't even get to see each other on Christmas day. I'll visit her grave, but it won't make it any better. I wish I didn't have to write this. I wish you were still here with us, what I wouldn't give to have just one more moment with you. I feel like a part of me is missing, like there is a hole in my heart. I love you so much mom.
Love,
Tina
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