You have my heart and I am yours forever

So this past week has been busy, crazy, trying, emotional, etc!!

Dilyan started working at twin rivers factory this past week, I've had to take him to work around 5:30pm and then be up to pick him up at 3-3:30am! It's safe to say my schedule has been a little thrown off! But I'm very happy to be helping him out!

Other than him working and me helping him. I've gotten to get to know his new little family which include his girl friend Jessica and her 1 year old daughter Joselyn. We all went to a new church this past Sunday here in Neosho. I can't even begin to tell you how amazing that day was! So we woke up and it had snowed and was STILL snowing. Nathan figured we'd just stay home. But I told him, I'm going to church. For about a week, my heart had been led to go to Abundant Life church here in Neosho. So we got up and got ready. We picked Dilyan, Jessica, and Jojo up from one motel. Sunday was the day they had to check out so we loaded all their stuff in our car and headed to church.

The worship service wasn't what Nathan and I were use to, it was a little more mellow. Then the pastor started his sermon and was talking about what the meaning of Palm Sunday truly was. He also started talking about how there are people who "think" they're doing everything they need to be doing as Christians and yet when they get to heaven God will turn them away. Instantly my heart was shaking and I felt God's pull on my heart. I don't know why it's so hard for us as humans to step off the path. I feel like just a few months ago I was getting back on the path, proclaiming I was going back to Jesus and here I am finding I've gone off path yet again! They did an alter call for those who weren't saved or for those who wanted to re-dedicate their lives to Jesus. I looked over and saw my brother and Jessica were bawling and going up. Nathan was standing beside me and I just stood there frozen.

My whole life I've always struggled with "Oh what would people think if I did this" Or "I can't go up there because people will think different of me" So I was there frozen, not wanting to go up there. God with his loving way was telling me you need to go up there and still I was frozen. Then Nathan took my hand and said "come on, we need to be up there!" I was shocked and relieved. Through Nathan, God found a way to calm my spirit and give me that sense of peace and comfort that I was needing to take those steps up to the alter. That is why I believe God made the man the head of the household. God knows I look to Nathan for guidance and strength. I'm so thankful for my husband and I'm so thankful for God for making him for me!

So Sunday morning Nathan and I re-dedicated our lives and Dilyan and Jessica gave their lives. I can't even tell you how proud I am of both of them. I know Dilyan has been hurting and struggling for a long time. And it's been even worse since mom has passed away. I know this is only the beginning of a beautiful start for them both. I am also very excited to be starting this new chapter of mine and Nathans lives. It's nice to be back on the path, living for God each and every day!

I now know why I was being led to go to Abundant Life, and I'm so glad I didn't just stay home because it snowed.

So far this week has been great. Production at twin rivers was shut down Monday because of no work and Monday night Lazboy called Dilyan for an interview. He went to it Tuesday and got the job! He is so excited to have this job because it's a set schedule and will allow him to have insurance. He is just doing so great, I couldn't be more proud! He starts Monday! He worked last night at TR and got called today bc there is no work tonight. So praise the Lord for this new job with Lazboy!!

Well that is all I have for now. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and know that you are Blessed and Loved!

T

weighing on my heart

So the 9th was last Saturday, almost a week ago and I have yet to have another period. Throughout these days I've taken 3 pregnancy tests all to reveal negative. It's very disheartening!! I want a child so bad, and when I thought things were finally going to happen, they don't. :(

It would be so easy to just give in and question God, but I will trust in Him. For He knows the desires of my heart. At the same time, I can't help but to be sad. I keep seeing all these people who are pregnant or who have children and don't take care of them and I can't help but wonder when will it be my turn.

Right here, right now, Lord I put this in your hands, I lay it down give you all of it. I know you're the King of kings and will answer my prayers and fulfill that desire in the way only You can. Thank you for your love.

Anyone who wants to please be in prayer with me, I really appreciate it!

T

Treat others how you want to be treated

This is a rant...yes it might get a little ugly...but I don't give a hell!!

So first I would like to start off by saying how much I HATE people who are rude and ugly! So the short story is my little brother stayed the night a couple of nights ago, he smokes, instead of throwing his butts in the yard he put them in the trash inside. Well obviously that was a huge to do because Monday my mother in law stayed home because she was sick because "the smell of cigarette smoke makes her sick" and she couldn't sleep at all because Dilyan was there. I mean if you ask me, it probably had more to do with the fact that we had a time change and she wasn't the only who couldn't sleep well Sunday!! Not even a week before she was telling my siblings "oh come over whenever you'd like". You can't go changing your story whenever it suits you!

So I took Dilyan places to apply Monday and he got a job, and has orientation Thursday. So he asked Roxann if he could stay the night Wednesday and she was so hateful about it! I just walked off. Needless to say, I did not stay at my house last night. I knew if I had, I probably would've exploded on her. You don't treat my family like that and just expect me to sit back and not have anything to say.

After I slept on it at my friends house and I've had all day to think about it. Yeah it's their house, we're just living here. But the point of the matter is, she could've handled it a whole hell of a lot better than she did!! She knowing my brother can't drive, could've said yeah you can stay but you can't smoke while you're here. And he would've totally understood that!! But NO, she had to be rude! They wonder why Nathan and I never want to stay here long! Who wants to live with someone like that, someone they have to walk on egg shells around. Because if you do one thing wrong you're treated like shit!! I so can not wait to have my own place again!!

So now because Dilyan can not stay here, it looks like I will be having to pay for a motel for him for a couple of weeks until he can have enough money to rent an apartment down here or something. Which by the way, pisses me the fuck off!!

The moral of this story is. Don't offer someone something, and then change it because they're lifestyle. It's not like you don't know how he lives his life already!!  Karma is a bitch and she will be coming for you!!

T

weekend & this week

So it's Sunday evening here at the Carr household. Today has definitely been a lazy day!! The weekend has been ok, now just hanging with my love and my little brother. It's so good to spend time with Dilyan because he never has time to hang. LOL

So we didn't end up going to our business seminar this Saturday. We did however spring clean our bedroom, got new nightstands, and a new entertainment center. Loving being able to see/walk on my bedroom floor! hahaha

So this week should be fun. Tomorrow, I am taking my little brother around to places to apply for a new job. Because the people he use to live with got him fired. I'm so proud of him for not letting this get him down, he just keeps going. I know he's going to reach the top!

Tuesday I am meeting a friend to buy another adorable hat her mom made for me for my Easter mini sessions.

Other than that, I have no plans until Saturday. Saturday is Easter Mini Session day!! Woot Woot, so excited and can't wait! They're gonna be AWESOME! Then Sunday I have a college graduation/couples shoot.

I feel so blessed to be able to do what I love!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

T

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah

That is kind of how I've been feeling the last few days. Just have had ZERO engery to do anything! All I did yesterday was lay in bed and watch Vampire Diaries...which might I add is a pretty good show. LOL But seriously I feel like a big giant BLAH. I know that makes no sense. So today I'm going to try and get myself out of this funk!

Lets see, I got a really cute new business outfit Thursday, then got to hang out with my little brother Thursday night. He stayed the night with us. He's doing so amazing and I'm so proud of him!! Friday him and I had a lunch date, then I took him home.

Saturday I had a one year photo shoot. Then I brought Nathan and I home some Bamboo for lunch.

And you already know about Sunday. hahaha

This morning, I've read my daily devotional, edited some pictures, I'm writing this blog, now I'm getting ready to go shower then go meet with a client to deliver some pictures and pic up some props her mom made! =]

I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

T